rotation

in the dark hours
we walk and stalk
the spirals in our head

downward in a blaze
of regret and hate
doors get slammed
into our face

rollercoaster-sickening life
among mice
in the underworld
of waste and rage

we are squeaking and sneaking
below and above
an army of love
unspoken

lost in ignorance, fear, despair
dying in motion
crashed by rotation

borderline friend

the fish can´t live with the bird
the fish can´t cry when it hurts
no one will be
with the cold shaking me
drowned in invisible tears
in an ocean of need
am i your friend, indeed?

i can´t expect you to hold my hand
when all you`ll see is how i end
in tearing and swearing my life to pieces

i can´t expect you to give me your light
when i blow you away and defend the dark side

i can´t be with you
i know i will miss you
and i hurt myself to hurt you
and i burn myself to alert you
just to deny the fate of a fatal state
and smoothe you for the peace of night

i know it´s wrong
you are so sane and on your flight
i can´t disturb a life that is life
i can´t ask you to endure the pain
i cause without reason and right

i´ll perish, i´ll perish
please be free!

and leave the greedy queen that´s me
i need you to go
cause i need you so
and with your heart
you fight the hate
-the hate that makes me know it´s too late

it always was
a fish in a glass
shattering the walls
and cutting herself up

flee and BE
in life, in heaven without me!

share moments with those who can love
and wave farewell to the queen of spades
piercing her mind and draining your stars
to go up in blood and flame
with no-one but herself to blame

there is so much hate
there is so much rage

run, run, from my cage of devastation!

and be on your way to find friends
at another station
bound for jumping a train of love
without question
without farce
friends to the end
i can´t even carry you round the bend
without crashing and smashing us into a hole
and begging you to to feed me the flesh of your soul
i´m feeble
i´m empty
i lie
go, go, don´t even say goodbye!

birth of worth

there´s no freedom in escape
there´s no love in death-bound caves
there´s no peace in watching bleed
the fearstruck girl that cuts
what she may breed

once she fell into a well
and ever since
awaits her fate
of hitting ground
of getting drowned
at the lowest end
of her free-falling self

in a tunnel that bites
the light from her eyes
and shatters the hopes she never had-

to take a needy child to bed
to save her wings from slaughter
in an embrace
that no-body could have brought her

an embrace of love
for the beauty she tossed
down the suicide path
in a well of abortion-

The hell, girl, you know
this birth will be none of distortion!

Stop raping the child
and life will be in your might

There´s freedom in loving embrace

prison lily

can´t find sleep
can´t find rest
i´m vexed and pressed
by shattering matters
hailing down on me
from noxious faces
watching and judging

a blade dangling above my head
i know i´ve not yet bled
pretentious my mention of torment
a lily catching a cold
but i feel like my dream´s been sold
and i´m stuck with the fate of the prisoner
shunning and running from release
walls so deceptive
walls so protective
a world that lies
but never dies

the dark is a bliss
as long as it´s blinding
and I can´t miss
the unseen
that is, was, will be
behind the walls, within their mass
all through their cracks...

an eyeless lily
but the cold sinks in
and feeling bereaves the dark
of its right
to trump a view
that is crystal and bright
and looms through the walls
of a cell
longing for (re-)apparition in
bloom

before the age....

what about the below and above?

there´s a girl on the roof
as slender, as lonesome as a cat
fur like tar
a voice from afar
humming of death
she clutches her chest
bumps still with questions and rage

why the hell? - Wasted, pasted and all is too late
before the age, any age

expectations on shore
never to reach the secrets
of the deep freed blue

on a roof top she sobs
for the shipwrecked ocean
that is her heart
undiscovered in the dark

stranded on a roof top
and the sky is of knives
cutting the fleet of her dreams
down to her feet

at least she can jump
and carry her crippled self
into an ocean of light

the armada sets sail
and she is gone
with the dead
long before the age, any age
perished without faith

libertine

far, far off this meagre existence she travelled
to escape
starvation, deflation, toxification
on the spinning wheel
of murderous, empty days
walking in line
far, far off from from where she cries
for the wheel races across her soul
without end, without telling her what it all meant
it means nothing to her

slowly she dies
in a neat, sweet candy box
counting her days in tasteless portions
to an invisible end

far, far off she travelled
to follow the walk of the Libertines
and gather spears
from their mental heritage
to battle the wheel until it cracks
and scream out FUCK to all that sucks
sad girl ran mad – but hell, who cares?

lonely she wandered but their secrets are hers
when she mapped their lands she mapped herself
and shot up her veins the liberty in her heart

she vowed love to milestones, gravestones of Arcadia
wet, wounded, worn, torn
in the rain of purification
in the reign of desire
dwelling in melancholic imagery
raising the dead by the map in her bag

she lifted the curtain
to the playground of their act
and invaded the stage as she realized
she´d come all the way to star a libertine
in the living scenary
of her own beauty
it meant everything to her

have you ever....

have you ever been
to places never seen
and whispered your shadows into the sand?

have you ever heard
the angel in a bird
and kissed your soul into his sky?

have you ever found
the lost girl, naked, crowned
by splinters of a life
she gathered for their uniqueness?

have you ever red
in people that you met
the truths unfolding
in your fears?

have you ever stood
as timeless as you could
in memories of your gods?

have you ever caught the rescue in this thought:
hearts don´t ask
they answer