prison lily

can´t find sleep
can´t find rest
i´m vexed and pressed
by shattering matters
hailing down on me
from noxious faces
watching and judging

a blade dangling above my head
i know i´ve not yet bled
pretentious my mention of torment
a lily catching a cold
but i feel like my dream´s been sold
and i´m stuck with the fate of the prisoner
shunning and running from release
walls so deceptive
walls so protective
a world that lies
but never dies

the dark is a bliss
as long as it´s blinding
and I can´t miss
the unseen
that is, was, will be
behind the walls, within their mass
all through their cracks...

an eyeless lily
but the cold sinks in
and feeling bereaves the dark
of its right
to trump a view
that is crystal and bright
and looms through the walls
of a cell
longing for (re-)apparition in
bloom

before the age....

what about the below and above?

there´s a girl on the roof
as slender, as lonesome as a cat
fur like tar
a voice from afar
humming of death
she clutches her chest
bumps still with questions and rage

why the hell? - Wasted, pasted and all is too late
before the age, any age

expectations on shore
never to reach the secrets
of the deep freed blue

on a roof top she sobs
for the shipwrecked ocean
that is her heart
undiscovered in the dark

stranded on a roof top
and the sky is of knives
cutting the fleet of her dreams
down to her feet

at least she can jump
and carry her crippled self
into an ocean of light

the armada sets sail
and she is gone
with the dead
long before the age, any age
perished without faith

libertine

far, far off this meagre existence she travelled
to escape
starvation, deflation, toxification
on the spinning wheel
of murderous, empty days
walking in line
far, far off from from where she cries
for the wheel races across her soul
without end, without telling her what it all meant
it means nothing to her

slowly she dies
in a neat, sweet candy box
counting her days in tasteless portions
to an invisible end

far, far off she travelled
to follow the walk of the Libertines
and gather spears
from their mental heritage
to battle the wheel until it cracks
and scream out FUCK to all that sucks
sad girl ran mad – but hell, who cares?

lonely she wandered but their secrets are hers
when she mapped their lands she mapped herself
and shot up her veins the liberty in her heart

she vowed love to milestones, gravestones of Arcadia
wet, wounded, worn, torn
in the rain of purification
in the reign of desire
dwelling in melancholic imagery
raising the dead by the map in her bag

she lifted the curtain
to the playground of their act
and invaded the stage as she realized
she´d come all the way to star a libertine
in the living scenary
of her own beauty
it meant everything to her

have you ever....

have you ever been
to places never seen
and whispered your shadows into the sand?

have you ever heard
the angel in a bird
and kissed your soul into his sky?

have you ever found
the lost girl, naked, crowned
by splinters of a life
she gathered for their uniqueness?

have you ever red
in people that you met
the truths unfolding
in your fears?

have you ever stood
as timeless as you could
in memories of your gods?

have you ever caught the rescue in this thought:
hearts don´t ask
they answer

in-filth-nity

if it was to start at a place called Filthy McNastys
and to end at a place called Infinity
- doesn´t that signifiy anything?

from the ashes into the dirtbags
where all the longing dreamy bright eyed children
are (still) breeding in the dark
over hopes that won´t die
as long as they feed the tears
they bear and share
in the music
in their universe

come along for just another infinity
save waste-bound wings
for a ride to heavens
in heart-shaped moments
shot up with love, lust, music,
and liberty

singing saviour at Euston

frozen by an edge
swarmed by passing people
heading from now here to another end
of the twisted tubes
and up into the vast, fast, milling city

frozen in time
melting in spell-bound air
that carries his voice to my heart

strangers at ease, strangers at peace
fusion betwen fearless tears & crystal melodies
virbrations, shaking lips, knotted fingers, racing thoughts
gathering on a roof top
as the music channels and chases them into the open

this is it
encounter, music, beauty, and pain
unchained by a cut
i fall into the gap
freed in nowhere
flying and frozen
with the singing saviour
at Euston
no words spoken
purity unbroken

and on and on
we carry the timelessness
of a magic moment
aching devoting fingers on strings
longing, trembling fingers gripping for a hold
within a dancing, praising soul
erased from a caged existence
on dead-end planet
and reborn by a stranger´s embrace
into liberty
at Euston

naked visions

it drives me mad
to wait in the dark
forever
I want to disappear
into you
invade the holes
in your heart
like you invaded
mine
but still
so empty
restless
sad
regretting the
birthlessness of
times
i now force into the open
and cry about
i play a song
i read a poem
and all these pictures
float my eyes with tears
and wound my hopes
until one day the scars may speak
of these days
where i painted immortal dreams
into puddles of mud
on a deserted path
stole memories by imagination
from those who are in possession
of the lived traces they left behind
in places, in spaces, in hearts
i call for you
in naked visions
never to be clad by the fever
of times i now crave for
close, so close you come to me
in the words and in the music and in my tears
it hurts
your world is the world
my world is these words
thrown into echoless space
lost between an instant and a kiss
to your unknowing person
nowhere´s here in a skindead shell
without you

ill (f)usion 2

you -

dripping, fruity, fleshy, innocently
from thrilling imaginations
unto my kiss-starved lips

you & me -

Ripping, stripping,
needless, beatless
skins off

sweat and breath and love
dripping from thrilled bodies
unto stitched-up hearts
we tear apart
and wove into one

burning lips
ragged flesh
a heart in the dark
fevered and fed
by a sensual scenary
in a dream
that you left

oblivious to its meagre existence....

ill (f)usion

i cry on skin
i never touched
i fall for words
i never heard
i cherish a candle
that never burned

i can´t hope forever
but i can´t face a "never"

so i hurt but i smile
and hold on for a while
to the illusion of
the fusion
between our hearts

-i know it is scattered and marred

it always was, we never were
a we

skin, words, candle -
you
in dreams with me
vibrant, poetic and burning

lights off

no forth
no back
i lost the track
and slide with tears
and broken dreams
down the drainpipe
of insanity
my soul so torn
-beyond repair
my heart an island
-left to drown
I scratch, I beg, I fumble
for flickering signs of hope
while I nail my life to the walls
of defeat
I shake, I shake,
let them break!
let them break!

deathless

age pokes holes into your skin
routine´s a desert that rubs you dry
and still you hear the same songs spin
and flip with the fountains in your heart

weariness paves the well trodden paths
steps stiffen on the rim of light
and still you feel the same raw lust
when your eyes flash for a photograph

you walk in circles and plea for the end
but after all it´s a flower
you painted in the sand

may waves and winds wash out your days
as long as you stay
and feel, and hear and smell
the girl that wanders amongst the stars
and neither fears the dirt nor the wet