fuck forever

Reading about guerilla gigs in the musicians` very own home place and stage invasions that erased all possible barriers between prophets and disciples, mental and physical fusion, publicity and privacy, sin and sinner, awe and awfulness, imagination and sensation, possession and obssession....

how come those things happened to people from my very own generation while i was far from being washed upon the untamed shores of rock´n roll culture? now that the barriers have become as impregnable by human force as an ocean, i can only paddle around in a romanticized dreamland of skin-close wild life experience...

i enter a club and "fuck forever" thrills through my body. i leave after banging my head off to "teen spirit". all the time i am surrounded by a new, young and carefree generation of music lovers taking part in the lively beat of their time before age will wither their spirit and beauty. hopefully they won´t spare themselves any of the self-indulgent pleasure taking of youth. May they never have to torment themselves with recognizations of what they have missed but glorify the scars they carried away from what they experienced- right at the front, not behind barriers.

we sing, and dance, and drink, and freak out to the same songs - yet to them the icons of now and then blare out anthems of their very own present embodiment while i whirl around in a dark corner that stinks of decay and fight tears of desperation and self-pity over the missed opportunities in my younger days....

and in the early morning i slip under the covers and hide from myself in the catchy scenes portrayed in my book