I don´t believe in love

The tyrant returned
and my eyes still burn
from last night´s illusions
from toxic intrusions
of cutting voices and mocking laughter
that turn me into my own slaughterer

I fell into my bed
all sick and shaky
and deeply I sunk
into the morbid mind of the Depressed
into the shallowest longings of the Drunk
for dirty sex and bloody rituals
to be surpressed

And I filled my lungs
to breathe it all out
to be freed from the load of hate and doubt
and save all those things
that brought me back on track
that saved my life and revealed my luck
to be alive

But what about those nights
where my life just burns out
inside me
and the wings of my lungs
won´t set me free?
I am not young
and I am tired of telling myself
that my life has only just begun

I don´t believe in love
I would strangle all white doves
in the world if they weren´t birds
that don´t deserve to be hurt
just for being symbols for a deceptive word

I hate the world today
I hate happiness and my messed up psyche
and I want it to get out of my way
and I brutally nail down these words
because they betrayed me
There is no such thing as purity of expression
no boundless and ultimate obsession
that is worth living and dying for